The Battle Of Wills. Your kids and You.

MY WILL is a bit STRONGER than my CHILD's

Because I will not allow them to make me give up on them. That doesn't mean I don't sometimes lose the battle and yell at them, punish them by taking away an activity or item, or have my own tantrum. Hey, momma is not perfect. We try not to 'lose' our composure, but my kids can probably find the kink in both my husband's and my armor of parental control better than anyone.

I am always researching, devising, and figuring out how to out do, persuade and decode my kid. They just have more time to do it than I do.

WHY WON'T HE DO HIS WORK FASTER?

This is one of my most frustrating parts of parenting and teaching. It's not just a HOMESCHOOL thing, it's a parent child thing. I had the same challenges with getting my kids to finish HOMEWORK FROM TRADITIONAL school. Or any 'extra' aftershooling they had to do just to keep up in their classes.

I have timed my kids. I know what they are capable of. My speed racer could finish his packed curriculum in 4 hrs a day if he is in the 'mood'. Other times (lately it's a lot of times) he drags it out while making faces, constant trips to the bathroom, the kitchen, stretching, clicks off screen and may not finish his goals for the day.

What happens when he prolongs school work planned for the week? He gives up his weekend (I don't take his sports from him though). He doesn't get to do any extra and has weekend school.

For this especially difficult year, he will be doing school through the summer since he is unlikely to finish all of his curriculum by the end of May (when we usually end full-day school).

That means (1) No summer camp that is fun (2) No day field trips (3) No Spring Break Camp (4) No electronics on the weekend or after hours.

For some reason, this year, the kid could care less. Me, however, it ticks me off, but I won't cut the school year short. I won't slim down his curriculum. He will complete it since to me he is being openly defiant.

IS THAT THE BUBBLING OF A TANTRUM I SEE?

Yes, now it's not loud the loud, kicking and screaming he used to do. It's the rigid set of his shoulders, the thin-lined lips, the silly expressions and out right refusal to get work done.

That means I (1) sit next to him and do my work (he hates this). (2) cut off all media. (3) take it back to the workbook (4) take away something he really wants or wants to do/go.

The truth is, it's exhausting. But I will not give up my creativity. I tell him he will finish this race, even if he takes a break along the way.

DID YOU JUST GO TO YOUTUBE INSTEAD OF YOUR ONLINE SCHOOL?

This is a consistent issue with him being in online classes and us no longer doing the Abeka DVDs with workbooks. It is a transition I am having my doubts about since it's a constant battle to keep him on one webpage, and focused. The child will slip a youtube music video, pandora, game or anything online to 'slack off' in class.

To combat this he has to turn his speakers up, have his computer facing me, or I use a program that allows me to pop into his computer.

Both of my sons tried my patience in this manner. It's the unpleasant part of parenting and it's made me an 'aggressive' speaking parent that I rarely have to become with my girls.

Now to be fair, the kids have this trait as a 'gift' from both their dad and I. It's not a bad trait, it's just irritating when it means the child can multi-focus on things that aren't important to the list of things they have to do.

YOU DON'T HAVE YOUR PHONE, BUT YOU ARE ON INSTAGRAM?

Aha! This is another issue. The kid is a computer genius! He has found little apps that allow him to access social media without actually going on his phone or a web page. Grrrrrrr!

As I am typing this, I am seriously considering going back to workbooks since I didn't have this issue before. However, the kid is getting older and has to learn some self control in order to be mature enough for the next phase of learning.

WAYS WE HAVE CIRCUMVENTED the SABATOGUE of WORK COMPLETION?

Now, this is the hard part. Being creative with blocking these attempts to procrastinate. We've tried it all and will likely have to figure out more tactics in this.

The first rule is TRY NOT TO GET ANGRY AT THEM, it's the hardest rule of all for most parents.

1) Use a timer
2) Remove all temptations to procrastinate
3) Schedule in lots of breaks that relieve energy and stress
4) Do topic check ups where you make sure the child isn't procrastinating because the work is too difficult
5) Give rewards for finishing and doing it on time
6) Allow some zone out or goof off time
7) Schedule in a 'make up' day or days for when goals aren't reach

I WON'T TAKE HIS SPORTS or OUTSIDE PLAYTIME AWAY

The one and final rule I have is not to punish my children by taking away their time to play with other kids. This is so important for homeschooled kids that I try to find other ways to discipline and they know that this

HOW DO YOU deal WITH THE BATTLE OF WILLS?

Procrastination? Angry Faces? Stubborn disobedience?

The STRUGGLE IS Real

Working Parents and Homeschooling

The Constant TUG OF WAR

I admit that I'm the type that loves to have a ton of stuff I'm juggling. Sitting still just isn't in my vocabulary.

However, there are times when I feel as though I am being pulled in way too many directions. Most of those times, it's my own darned fault.

WHAT IS MY PRIORITY?

I have to ask myself this question hour by hour. Since we have moved, we haven't gotten used to this constant state of summer and daylight in our new home. It used to be, I wouldn't have activities to do, or desire to step outside, or take a nap as often since WINTER = HYBERNATION. Well I don't get that time off anymore.

When I am working at my job out of the house, it is easy to set work as my priority. Once I get home, my kids and husband are my priority. I do work on my home business when I am there but if I need to help my kid with homework, or redirect, I give in to those priorities before finishing my work.

So...WHAT IS MY PRIORITY? It depends on where I am at the time.

TAKE TIME OUR FOR ME?

I do that now more than I did when I initially started homeschooling. Everyday I get home, I try to find time for a nap, to read and goof off.

This is IMPORTANT. Self care and having 1 hr to yourself a day won't hurt your kid, it will help them in the end.

SLIDING THE SCHEDULE

We have been doing that a lot in January, then February. It means that school won't end for my kids until July. I warned them about lagging schedules and work. They didn't mind doing school longer in the summer.

SNEAKING IN CURRICULUM

Lately, we've been learning via GAME SCHOOLING, MOVIE BASED curriculums, PROJECT based and EXPERIENCE based. We are doing that with History and Literature this year. It's fun, less pressure and the kids present their findings via a family presentation.

Truth be told, I really look forward to the movies and plays. Not so much for the project or game schooling since those take much more effort and time for planning.

So Close Til The Finish Line

Weekly Wrap Up

We are so close to actually finalizing our school year with our core curriculum, Abeka Academy, that I and the kids are jumping for joy! Just two weeks and we are on lessons 155 (which is where we usually end our school year even though Abeka Academy has 170 lessons included).

I'm looking at Time4Learning.com and MinecraftHomeschool.com for Speed Racer. Stay tuned.

On The Road Again - Yep! This is a big field trip for just me and the kids. We are going to Disney world (again) to hang out and relax while doing a 'light' school week. So we packed our gear and are ready to leave this weekend. Rose is coming home to hang out with Hubba so he doesn't get lonely.

Speed Racer, 6th grader

With MOD Design (Java beginner curriculum) by Youth Digital he worked with support to get some things back in order. Also, I'd noticed he didn't do the section reviews and troubleshooting for each Module - so, I told him he'll be backtracking and finishing up the 6 of them he'd missed. Clever Dragons he played in during the morning finishing more Spanish and Literature. WordSmart (vocabulary software program) which is working well to teach him word meaning.

We had some glitches with Time4Writing [Paragraphs] since they are doing updates to their web app.

He's worked independently this week on his Saxon Math, Spelling You See. While his dad worked with him during his Abeka Academy [Bible, Language, Reading, Penmanship, Science & History]. No copywork this week in Anatomy. He is still working on consistency with his Fraction Practice Review Sheets. I videotaped him while he played his 2nd song he learned on the Piano with Simply Music.

Yellow Belt advancement was this week, and he squeezed in two days (4 hours) of dance and acrobatics practice as well as 2 days (2 hours) of martial arts.

Tiger Lilly, blended 9th grader

Tiger Lilly is in the groove. She is working independently on her college courses now in their 3rd week  (Sociology, Interpersonal Communication and Art Appreciation). On Friday, I assigned her the task of making Quizlet.com flashcards for her to use to study with for her coming mid-terms and quizzes.

She is no longer doing her Physics class online with Education-Portal since she finished all the videos and quizzes.

One day of Web Design with Currclick.com (she finished her 2nd project), Python class with Landry she had her class on Wed with a quiz, Psychology with Currclick was a little longer class on Monday. Blender Animation with Youth Digital is almost 70% done. Chemistry with Education-Portal is still fun for her and she watches the videos and does the quizzes that follow each video.

While her brother was snowboarding, she did her Saturday session with Digipen-Animation with 3D Maya. She had to work on her animation project for her next class this coming Saturday.

Pre-Calc with Abeka had her doing 2 quizzes this week - she got 'A's on it. She complained that Pre-Calc is just like geometry - only more of it, lol!

She's studying for her CLEP exam in US History to 1877 Review with Instantcert and has memorized 50 of the 82 facts in her 1st set of instantcert flashcards. CLEP Professor Algebra she finished 4 days of lessons this week of her total 20.

She does two days of martial arts (2 hours) and 1 day (an hour) of Hip Hop dance. I promised her we would do 30 minutes of exercise 2 days a week but momma is lazy about exercising.

WORKING PARENT's LOG

Meals. This week went by like a breeze. I had all my meats prepped and we had a hot meal every night. Hubba even cooked (put meat in the oven and made the minute rice with veggies). I was a bit miffed when I came home from work after a 12 hour day and cooked dinner - only to have my Hubba take the kiddos to Chick-Fil-A. However, I felt bad afterwards for fussying him out about it since the kids asked him to take them since they got their Yellow Belts in martial arts that day and wanted to celebrate. Sigh. So I ate, then packed that day's dinner up for the next day.

Cleaning. Don't ask. I did put away the clothes I washed last week. But there is another pile on the couch since my Hubba decided to wash clothes but hadn't had a chance to fold them. We hope to prep the living room for painting since we are getting new Dining and Living Room furniture.

Work & Life Balance. A crazy week of 12 hour days and freezing rain. Also throw in some pretty highly visible work product deadlines to present to other engineers - eek! I'm trying to work extra hours to compensate for my plan to be off next week for our trip to Florida and I may end up sleeping to recover, lol!

Lesson Planning. Not done for next week since it's going to be a light week and we are going out of town.

Rest. I actually got 6 to 7 hours of sleep out of the way. So I wasn't tired this week, surprisingly.

Marriage Check Up. We stayed up way later than I should've to watch my Hubba's favorite show together while eating candy we 'borrowed' from the kids.

Getting It All Done

The Secrets To Accomplishing Our Goals

I find that in life we tell others great ways to make their dreams come true ~ but we never do it for ourselves.

I've always dreamed big. Even though I began from very humble and trying beginnings as a child of a teenaged mom and single mother.

However, I NEVER heard my mom complain about taking care of us. Not one time. She worked 2 or 3 jobs at a time to do it.

Watching her, I realized, I could do anything I wanted ~ I just had to toss aside negative thoughts.

Daily Goal and To Do List

I make a goal list for the day. (1) Of things I need and want to accomplish (2) Of things my kids want to accomplish [I ask them]

All of those goals line up with our family goals in which my husband and I work on together throughout the year.

Teaching Kids to set Goals

I make it a point to help my kids to set goals. To teach them to navigate beyond their personal roadblocks to make their lives as fullfilling as they desire it to be.

Ways to Get Kids involved.

1) Have them help with the weekly lesson plan.
2) Have them name 3 things for the week they'd like to accomplish for themselves
3) Place their goal list and lesson plan where they can see and check off.

WEEKLY WRAP UP
We drove to DISNEYWORLD...on the Tue before Thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving Dinner ~ was at the Golden Corral restaurant. The food was great and the place was packed in Orlando, FL. We were able to bless our waitress with double our tip. I really wanted to considering the people next to us stiffed her on her tip. It was the best feeling in the world as she was ever grateful.

O_o and returned on Monday Morning at 3am ~ and YES I dragged myself to work by 7:45am.

And didn't spend 1 cent on Disney tickets. Cheap man's trip.
(1) Visit all the Resort Decorations
(2) Go to Celebration for Tree Lighting Ceremony and free activities
(3) Visit Campfire at Wilderness Resort with Chip N Dale - taking our own marshmallows, chocolate and graham crackers for the campfire songs
(4) Downtown Disney where free entertainment abounds. ~ Now, to drive home. To the cold ~ but happy.

Kids Dancing The Night Away at DownTown Disney

Making Our Own Gingerbread Houses at the Resort

Board Game Mania Late Night

Crafts at the resort

Disney Resort Christmas Decoration Self Tour

Work this week.
One of our LapTops bit the dust! Eeek! and it really set us back a bit. Thankfully, my oldest daughter, Rose, was able to take it to her college for a 'free' repair. But it was wasted. The laptop was dead. Luckily, Walmart had a sale and the kids and I put our funds together to purchase a replacement for $299.

Field Trip! BUST! We planned to go to the Imagination Station for a viewing of 101 Dalmations!
BUT, I overslept a bit, and the weather was so bad that we wouldn't have made it to the show in time.

So....we all went back to bed.

It was planned to be a special treat since we have our very own Dalmation.

The kids had a light day of work that day, but we still accomplished over half of our work which was great.

Speed Racer has been working very well independently but due to the lack of his own laptop, he had to do his computer work with me on my computer which made our nights longer.


Tiger Lilly is in the home stretch for her 1st of 3 block schedules for this school year.  She'll be finalizing some of her courses. Now she is packed with subjects til our vacation in 3 weeks. After that she'll start her Winter College Course, a Landry course and a Currclick class for the Spring.

WORKING PARENT's LOG

Meals. Another bad week of planning since we didn't get home til early Monday morning and I had to run in to work with just 3.5 hrs sleep. However, I did get to the store that evening and got some meat with some quick marinades to make the week of cooking easier. The rest of the week we had a great homecook dinner that my Tiger Lilly prepared.

Cleaning. Didn't happen. The house is a mess. We plan to tidy up this weekend since my son Razor Ray will be painting my living room.

Work & Life Balance. This week was rather light. I only worked 9 hours on Monday and Tuesday was off work for our family field trip. And work was not very challenging since I had mostly yearly training to finish. I flexed my hours the remainder of the week which ended up pretty good.

Lesson Planning. I finished our lesson plans all the way through January 8th. We'll be taking off from schooling from Dec 22nd to Jan 3rd so that made it easy. Also I did a template for our 'light' January schedule and our Spring schedule.

Rest. Failed at this on Monday since returning from Disneyworld at 3 am and barely sleeping. Thankfully, Tuesday I was off work and able to sleep in a few extra hours. I stayed up late with my hubby watching movies on Wednesday (he suckered me into it.) Everything was back on track for me by Thursday and I was getting a comfortable 6-7 hour night sleep. Whoopi!

Weekend Plans. Date Night with hubby Friday! Kwanza celebration after my Tiger Lilly takes the SAT on Saturday, ending with taking my dog to the vet on Sunday.

Balance Check Up - Working and Homeschooling

Sometimes I don't know how I do this.

HOMESCHOOL

WORK FULL TIME OUTSIDE THE HOME

RUN A SIDE BUSINESS

BE A WIFE, MOTHER, TAXI DRIVER...the list goes on.

My Motto?

'CAN'T means WON'T'

One thing my humble and challenging upbringing has taught me was ... there are ways to get it all done - if you are creative.

Finding the Right JOB

This is the area where most parents have a major challenge. Finding a job that allows the flexibility of home teaching. My husband and I have played with all types of combinations so that one of us could be available and home most times with out kids. He worked night jobs as a Security Guard, Help Desk Technician, Real Estate Broker, Call Center Manager and on. I've worked in the Information Technology field most of my life. I actually changed careers because I loved technology but also loved the flexibility my techie friends had.

With the challenge of finding this balance, I've even helped my older daughter groom her career to have a wide variety of opportunities that afford her the ability to have a flexible work schedule.

The cost of flexibility is usually hit in the (1) Income (2) Location (3) Job Advancement areas. But it's not a trade off you can't recoup later.

Having A Spouse That Helps

This is where I am blessed. My husband has played the role as 'work from home' dad. Where he cared for the kids in the early morning until he left to meet his clients when we had an at home business.

We share in the schooling. He takes early morning and late evening. I take the midday afternoon and do the coordination.

Curriculum that's Easy And Teaches for you

I have to find a curriculum that keeps us both coordinated and does most all of the teaching for us. This has really helped both of us find success without stress in homeschooling.

We'd love to do some really fun stuff, but the truth is, to keep the homeschool train running nicely, having a box curriculum where I can have my kid call a free tutor, have the curriculum all laid out, have everything I basically need to teach my kid makes life easier.

I do add on 'supplements' but I make sure they are also, little maintence, on the parental part.

Using Outside Childcare or Tutors

There were times where my husband and I had overlap on our workdays. When our older kids weren't able to be home with the younger two, we hired a 'Home Helper'.

Having the 'Home Helper' has been GREAT! She administers the kids schooling for that day, makes their lunch, tidy up the main level, and puts our crock pot dinner on so when I get home - dinner's done.

Work Outside the Home OR Inside the Home

We've done both. Working inside the home has been much more challenging for both my husband and I - especially when the kids were younger.

Working From Home - leaves very little space or lines in the sand for 'work-time/home-time'. We ended up still needed to flop our schedules and it seemed the kids never understood the 'working from home' idea.

Working Outside the Home - this works well for us. It's a clear division of home vs work. Also, it allows us to network with other people in our fields. We also, even get out for lunch breaks with each other, or our co-worker friends. In most cases - the pay has been better when we've worked outside the home.

Stay Organized!

This is a BIG deal. Whenever we don't do this, life is chaos.

Things that must be done to keep things rolling.

Make a Daily To Do List, checking off every item as you go.

Do this on Sunday's or set aside a 'Planning' day for the below:

- Workbox System in place (Sue Patrick's Workbox System)
- Meal Planning and Prepping for the week
- Lesson Plans - Weekly Schedules posted and given to the kids and all the 'teachers'
- Schedule in 'sleep' time
- Use electronic calenders like google or gmail calender to remind all parties of schedule

DO YOU WORK AND HOMESCHOOL? WANT TO? HOW DO YOU?

WEEKLY WRAPUP

Tiger Lilly schedule has changed. Her Writing courses ended last week. WriteGuide and Time4Writing were great courses. In place of them she is starting Sociology and Psychology which are on her CLEP test list for next Spring.  Finally, she's finishing up her Youth Digital, MOD Design course and hope to start on her 3D animation course with them over the weekend. 

We are really trying to get her ready for the Analyzing Literature CLEP and she is struggling with it (but we just started). I realized she needs more time so I moved the test date another week out.

Speed Racer is loving his new class, Minecraft Homeschool 'Vikings'.  He's all set up, finished his initial quiz and orientation and loves it! We also started WORD UP! with Compass Classroom to get him up to par on root word association since we aren't doing Latin. His other courses are going rather well. Overall, he's calming down and becoming a more focused student! Whew! His big sister Rose who administers school for me a few days of the week said he's on track.

He's getting ready for a big Breakdancing battle this weekend. Also, he loves Tennis (we just started it last week - he complained initially) and is getting close to being rewarded a strip in martial arts.

WORKING PARENT

Nothing this week went as planned. It was a complete chaotic week since I didn't do any meal planning on Sunday and barely got lesson plans done.

Work balance has been off since I started a new project at work, but I did get to go out with work friends for 1 hour in which I sacrificed homeschool work that evening to do.

However, because of the dissaray of our schedules, I started working on next week's schedule so this won't happen again :-D





So You Think Homeschooling AND Working is Harder?

I've done IT ALL! With Four kids and 21 years of marriage there isn't a combination I haven't tried. And as many people I hear complain that homeschooling is : hard, exhausting, impossible and on...if you work, they haven't compared the options.

Let's compare the schedule I had with each scenario

Both Hubby and I switched one drop off and pick up

PRIVATE SCHOOL

Yes, I had all of my kids at one time in Private School. Both Baptist which taught Abeka and Catholic School.

*Required MORE homework
*Parental Support (Financial) and Physical
*Cost came up unexpectantly
*Quality of Education wasn't always worth money paid
*Lack of extra-curricular and College transition programs

My schedule when kids were in Private School and I worked

5:30am-Wake up kids
6:30am-Drop off kids at morning care (with their own breakfast)
6:00pm-Pick kids up from aftercare
6:30pm-Grab dinner
7:00pm-Go to sport activity, Kumon (after school tutoring) 3 days a week
9:00pm-Do homework (they usually didn't do a good job of it in extended care-only time to play)
10:45pm-Put them to bed (if they didn't finish their homework)

PUBLIC SCHOOL

This also had it's challenges

*Never knew what my kids were learning in class
*Kids were spread out over different schools (I had one in Daycare, Elementary, Middle and High School for several years)
*Cost came up unexpectantly
*Quality of Education depended upon the location where we lived

My schedule when kids were in Public School and I worked

6:00am-Wake up kids
6:30am-Drop off two younger kids at morning care (with their own breakfast)
6:30am-High Schooler walks to school bus pickup
7:00am-Middle Schooler gets dropped off at school bus pickup
4:00pm-Pick up Middle Schooler from bus stop
5:00pm-Pick up High Schooler from High School Sports (Football,Track or Lacrosse)
6:00pm-Pick younger kids up from aftercare
6:30pm-Grab dinner
7:00pm-Go to sport activity, Kumon (after school tutoring) 3 days a week
9:00pm-Do homework (if they had any)
9:30pm-Do AFTERSCHOOLING to teach them what they didn't learn in school
10:45pm-Put them to bed (if they didn't finish their homework)

HOMESCHOOL

This has challenges too

*Finding the curriculum that can be pulled off by two parents
*Childcare/Tutors that will come to my home
*Schedule has to be Flexible

My homeschooling schedule and yes, I still work :-D

5:00am-Mom gets herself up and goes to work
9:30am-Dad gets up and dresses
10:00am-Dad wakes kids up to start their Independent Work

Tiger Lilly works on (Youth Digital, Code Academy, WriteGuide.com and Python with Landry Academy Course)

Speed Racer works on (Tynker, XtraMath, Teaching Textbooks, Typing)

11:00am-At home helper comes over - relieves Hubby
2:30pm-Mom home - relieves at home helper
3:00pm-Abeka DVD/Streaming Courses start

Tiger Lilly works on (Abeka: Alg 2, US History, Spanish)
Speed Racer works on (Abeka: Bible, Math, Reading, Penmanship, Spelling)

6:00pm-Eat Snack and Leave for Sports
7:00pm-Go to sport activity
9:00pm-Late and Light Dinner
9:30pm-Dad continues homeschooling

Tiger Lilly works on (Abeka: Chemistry (three times a week), (These are 1 time a week) Econ, Amer Gov't, Physics, Art)

Speed Racer works on (Abeka: Science, History,(one time a week) Art,  Education-Portal:Spanish, Workbook: Logic)

10:45pm-Kids finished, either go to bed or hang out with dad

Weekly Wrap-up

This week is in gear and went off without a hitch.

My stand in teacher - Rose (oldest sister) is teaching and handling her students well.

Tiger Lilly:

Tiger Lilly - started cheerleading this week. She's super excited. Also, went online several times to play Minecraft with her bff from Public School and email her new friend from cheerleading.

She also requested we add another class to her already packed schedule O_o *It's a weekend class with Digipen that teaches 3D Animation using Maya Autodesk* I can't believe she wants to take this Saturday course - but hey, it's her own time.

Tiger Lilly says she wants to be able to script, draw and create her own video games one day.

Speed Racer:

Behaved like an angel this week. His sister has started bribing him with candy. Hey, what ever works.

His CALM DOWN LIST is still up and she and he read it daily.

This is his last week doing Logic workbooks and will be starting with Art of Argument (Yay!)

In Dance and Martial Arts he is performing well, listening ears are on, but he still has hop around syndrome (like mom and dad).

He's also been practicing his breakdancing at home - late at night, when I'm already in bed. His dad and him watch a movie then my husband 'coaches' the little guy. I think he likes that one on one time.

HOW WAS YOUR WEEK?