Wednesday, March 15, 2017

Rememberance of Being a Stay At Home Dad - That worked too



WHEN WE DECIDED, I WOULD BE AN AT HOME HUSBAND


My wife was pregnant with our third child. She worked and so did I. My wife was an engineer and had a pretty stable and dependable job. I was a Regional Sales Manager and had worked my job for a year after I'd graduated from college after serving in the military.

I was laid off when the department closed, and was given a 3 month severance pay with up to six months of unemployment available.

Then, two weeks after I was laid off, my wife was put on pregnancy bedrest for 13 weeks until delivery.

Therefore, I decided to get my Real Estate licence before the 'boom' in Real Estate. But to do so, I had to take a class, care for my bedridden wife and still bring in some income to fund advertising of my new business.

HOW'D DID WE MAINTAIN?

I decided to take on a paper route, it would put me at work when my wife and two other kids were sleeping. It allowed me to take my Real Estate class in the afternoon after I dropped our two kids off at school and fed my wife.

Then I took a job on the weekends, working nights as a security guard, two nights a week while the kids and wife were sleep.

THEN BABY CAME

I planned on my business to kick off, but it took time. My wife BEGGED me to stay home during the day with the baby since I had flexible hours and she couldn't find a babysitter she liked. Our previous baby sitter retired.

I GRUDGINGLY AGREED TO STAY HOME UNTIL WE FOUND A NEW SITTER

I told my wife we needed a housekeeper 1 day a week since I couldn't keep the house as clean as she liked. We both decided it would be good if someone helped with cleaning our clothes since we spent lots of time washing the kids close. I also was notorious for getting the older kids to school late to the point the school contacted my wife.

So, I gave my 7 yr old and 4 year old alarm clocks, set up the baby's old room (we moved her in with her sister) into an upstairs recreation room. It had a refrigerator with their breakfast in Tupperware containers. The kids clothes for the day were on their dressers and I ran them through getting themselves ready while I got the baby ready.

But we never did. My wife pumped breast milk while at work from 5am-1:30pm. I quit the paper route job, the Real Estate business took off, and our baby was home with me full-time and the older kids were in private school.

Then we had another baby.

CHALLENGES FACED AS A MAN AT HOME WITH MY KIDS

There wasn't many friends to be gained this way. Most events had SAHM that found it interesting I was at home. I rarely felt comfortable in those settings so I focused on my kids. They did make jokes though, nothing I took personal, but I found it funny. My wife, however, was offended.

Then, I didn't have much patience for the women that complained so much about being home. I did it and worked and loved it. So, it was lonely. Also, I'd get questioned by school teachers when I showed up for events and my wife didn't since she saved her vacations and time for doing everything with the kids in the evening since I worked then.


I RETURNED TO WORK

When the Real Estate market took a dive, my youngest son was then 3 yrs old and my youngest daughter was 5 yrs old and already in public school with her siblings.

I went back to school to update my technical skills and got a job in the Tech field like my wife.

It was hard sending the kids off to school and daycare. I still kept my Real Estate business and my new full time job. My sleep suffered, but I adjusted.

We all did.

NOW THOUGH

When I was recently laid off, it seems exhausting and frustrating getting back into a routine with my kids since they are used to doing things a certain way when we parents are at work and their siblings come and go.

We are adjusting, but it will change again, as soon as I start my new job.

DAD and OLDEST SON HELPING SPEED RACER WITH HIS ACELLUS ALGEBRA 1 HOMEWORK




WHAT I AM THANKFUL FOR BEING AN AT HOME HUSBAND

Being able to be home with my kids, sleep in, play with them, support my wife and shape their lives.

1 comment:

  1. Thanks for sharing your take on being a stay at home dad. I am glad you made the most of your situation.

    ReplyDelete