The Battle Of Wills. Your kids and You.

MY WILL is a bit STRONGER than my CHILD's

Because I will not allow them to make me give up on them. That doesn't mean I don't sometimes lose the battle and yell at them, punish them by taking away an activity or item, or have my own tantrum. Hey, momma is not perfect. We try not to 'lose' our composure, but my kids can probably find the kink in both my husband's and my armor of parental control better than anyone.

I am always researching, devising, and figuring out how to out do, persuade and decode my kid. They just have more time to do it than I do.

WHY WON'T HE DO HIS WORK FASTER?

This is one of my most frustrating parts of parenting and teaching. It's not just a HOMESCHOOL thing, it's a parent child thing. I had the same challenges with getting my kids to finish HOMEWORK FROM TRADITIONAL school. Or any 'extra' aftershooling they had to do just to keep up in their classes.

I have timed my kids. I know what they are capable of. My speed racer could finish his packed curriculum in 4 hrs a day if he is in the 'mood'. Other times (lately it's a lot of times) he drags it out while making faces, constant trips to the bathroom, the kitchen, stretching, clicks off screen and may not finish his goals for the day.

What happens when he prolongs school work planned for the week? He gives up his weekend (I don't take his sports from him though). He doesn't get to do any extra and has weekend school.

For this especially difficult year, he will be doing school through the summer since he is unlikely to finish all of his curriculum by the end of May (when we usually end full-day school).

That means (1) No summer camp that is fun (2) No day field trips (3) No Spring Break Camp (4) No electronics on the weekend or after hours.

For some reason, this year, the kid could care less. Me, however, it ticks me off, but I won't cut the school year short. I won't slim down his curriculum. He will complete it since to me he is being openly defiant.

IS THAT THE BUBBLING OF A TANTRUM I SEE?

Yes, now it's not loud the loud, kicking and screaming he used to do. It's the rigid set of his shoulders, the thin-lined lips, the silly expressions and out right refusal to get work done.

That means I (1) sit next to him and do my work (he hates this). (2) cut off all media. (3) take it back to the workbook (4) take away something he really wants or wants to do/go.

The truth is, it's exhausting. But I will not give up my creativity. I tell him he will finish this race, even if he takes a break along the way.

DID YOU JUST GO TO YOUTUBE INSTEAD OF YOUR ONLINE SCHOOL?

This is a consistent issue with him being in online classes and us no longer doing the Abeka DVDs with workbooks. It is a transition I am having my doubts about since it's a constant battle to keep him on one webpage, and focused. The child will slip a youtube music video, pandora, game or anything online to 'slack off' in class.

To combat this he has to turn his speakers up, have his computer facing me, or I use a program that allows me to pop into his computer.

Both of my sons tried my patience in this manner. It's the unpleasant part of parenting and it's made me an 'aggressive' speaking parent that I rarely have to become with my girls.

Now to be fair, the kids have this trait as a 'gift' from both their dad and I. It's not a bad trait, it's just irritating when it means the child can multi-focus on things that aren't important to the list of things they have to do.

YOU DON'T HAVE YOUR PHONE, BUT YOU ARE ON INSTAGRAM?

Aha! This is another issue. The kid is a computer genius! He has found little apps that allow him to access social media without actually going on his phone or a web page. Grrrrrrr!

As I am typing this, I am seriously considering going back to workbooks since I didn't have this issue before. However, the kid is getting older and has to learn some self control in order to be mature enough for the next phase of learning.

WAYS WE HAVE CIRCUMVENTED the SABATOGUE of WORK COMPLETION?

Now, this is the hard part. Being creative with blocking these attempts to procrastinate. We've tried it all and will likely have to figure out more tactics in this.

The first rule is TRY NOT TO GET ANGRY AT THEM, it's the hardest rule of all for most parents.

1) Use a timer
2) Remove all temptations to procrastinate
3) Schedule in lots of breaks that relieve energy and stress
4) Do topic check ups where you make sure the child isn't procrastinating because the work is too difficult
5) Give rewards for finishing and doing it on time
6) Allow some zone out or goof off time
7) Schedule in a 'make up' day or days for when goals aren't reach

I WON'T TAKE HIS SPORTS or OUTSIDE PLAYTIME AWAY

The one and final rule I have is not to punish my children by taking away their time to play with other kids. This is so important for homeschooled kids that I try to find other ways to discipline and they know that this

HOW DO YOU deal WITH THE BATTLE OF WILLS?

Procrastination? Angry Faces? Stubborn disobedience?

Rememberance of Being a Stay At Home Dad - That worked too

WHEN WE DECIDED, I WOULD BE AN AT HOME HUSBAND

My wife was pregnant with our third child. She worked and so did I. My wife was an engineer and had a pretty stable and dependable job. I was a Regional Sales Manager and had worked my job for a year after I'd graduated from college after serving in the military.

I was laid off when the department closed, and was given a 3 month severance pay with up to six months of unemployment available.

Then, two weeks after I was laid off, my wife was put on pregnancy bedrest for 13 weeks until delivery.

Therefore, I decided to get my Real Estate licence before the 'boom' in Real Estate. But to do so, I had to take a class, care for my bedridden wife and still bring in some income to fund advertising of my new business.

HOW'D DID WE MAINTAIN?

I decided to take on a paper route, it would put me at work when my wife and two other kids were sleeping. It allowed me to take my Real Estate class in the afternoon after I dropped our two kids off at school and fed my wife.

Then I took a job on the weekends, working nights as a security guard, two nights a week while the kids and wife were sleep.

THEN BABY CAME

I planned on my business to kick off, but it took time. My wife BEGGED me to stay home during the day with the baby since I had flexible hours and she couldn't find a babysitter she liked. Our previous baby sitter retired.

I GRUDGINGLY AGREED TO STAY HOME UNTIL WE FOUND A NEW SITTER

I told my wife we needed a housekeeper 1 day a week since I couldn't keep the house as clean as she liked. We both decided it would be good if someone helped with cleaning our clothes since we spent lots of time washing the kids close. I also was notorious for getting the older kids to school late to the point the school contacted my wife.

So, I gave my 7 yr old and 4 year old alarm clocks, set up the baby's old room (we moved her in with her sister) into an upstairs recreation room. It had a refrigerator with their breakfast in Tupperware containers. The kids clothes for the day were on their dressers and I ran them through getting themselves ready while I got the baby ready.

My wife pumped breast milk while at work from 5am-1:30pm. I quit the paper route job, the Real Estate business took off, and our baby was home with me full-time and the older kids were in private school. Sometimes, I even took the baby to show houses with me and put her on my back. My clients loved it.

Then we had another baby.

CHALLENGES FACED AS A MAN AT HOME WITH MY KIDS
WORKING FROM HOME AS A REALTOR and PART-TIME WEEKENDS

There wasn't many friends to be gained this way. Most events had SAHM that found it interesting I was at home. I rarely felt comfortable in those settings so I focused on my kids. They did make jokes though, nothing I took personal, but I found it funny. My wife, however, was offended.

Then, I didn't have much patience for the women that complained so much about being home. I did it and worked and loved it. So, it was lonely. Also, I'd get questioned by school teachers when I showed up for events and my wife didn't since she saved her vacations and time for doing everything with the kids in the evening since I worked then.

These challenges were things I just accepted and created a group of friends from a part-time job I worked four nights a month in security. All guys and adults which helped me get out of the house.

I RETURNED TO WORK FULL TIME

When the Real Estate market took a dive, my youngest son was then 3 yrs old and my youngest daughter was 5 yrs old and already in public school with her siblings.

I went back to school to update my technical skills and got a job in the Tech field like my wife.

It was hard sending the kids off to school and daycare. I still kept my Real Estate business and my new full time job. My sleep suffered, but I adjusted.

We all did.

NOW THOUGH

When I was recently laid off, it seems exhausting and frustrating getting back into a routine with my kids since they are used to doing things a certain way when we parents are at work and their siblings come and go.

We are adjusting, but it will change again, as soon as I start my new job.

Update: I shortly found a job as an network engineer, and now help my wife with the kids homeschooling while we both work outside the home.

Our schedules compliment each other I work late mornings, her early mornings and we switch off reviewing and helping our kids with their work.

We are a team. Especially, with homeschooling. Now we both work outside the home and homeschool. Having a nanny and our older kids pitch in has been a great transition.

DAD and OLDEST SON HELPING SPEED RACER WITH HIS ACELLUS ALGEBRA 1 HOMEWORK

WHAT I AM THANKFUL FOR BEING AN AT HOME HUSBAND

Being able to be home with my kids, sleep in, play with them, support my wife and shape their lives.

The STRUGGLE IS Real

Working Parents and Homeschooling

The Constant TUG OF WAR

I admit that I'm the type that loves to have a ton of stuff I'm juggling. Sitting still just isn't in my vocabulary.

However, there are times when I feel as though I am being pulled in way too many directions. Most of those times, it's my own darned fault.

WHAT IS MY PRIORITY?

I have to ask myself this question hour by hour. Since we have moved, we haven't gotten used to this constant state of summer and daylight in our new home. It used to be, I wouldn't have activities to do, or desire to step outside, or take a nap as often since WINTER = HYBERNATION. Well I don't get that time off anymore.

When I am working at my job out of the house, it is easy to set work as my priority. Once I get home, my kids and husband are my priority. I do work on my home business when I am there but if I need to help my kid with homework, or redirect, I give in to those priorities before finishing my work.

So...WHAT IS MY PRIORITY? It depends on where I am at the time.

TAKE TIME OUR FOR ME?

I do that now more than I did when I initially started homeschooling. Everyday I get home, I try to find time for a nap, to read and goof off.

This is IMPORTANT. Self care and having 1 hr to yourself a day won't hurt your kid, it will help them in the end.

SLIDING THE SCHEDULE

We have been doing that a lot in January, then February. It means that school won't end for my kids until July. I warned them about lagging schedules and work. They didn't mind doing school longer in the summer.

SNEAKING IN CURRICULUM

Lately, we've been learning via GAME SCHOOLING, MOVIE BASED curriculums, PROJECT based and EXPERIENCE based. We are doing that with History and Literature this year. It's fun, less pressure and the kids present their findings via a family presentation.

Truth be told, I really look forward to the movies and plays. Not so much for the project or game schooling since those take much more effort and time for planning.

Celebration of National Womens Day

Even with woman being the birthers of the next generation. Even with how far we have come. I sat at work today and overheard a male co-worker say, "Aren't you 'girls' supposed to be somewhere protesting today?"

I know he didn't say it with malice, but I corrected him by saying, "The protest is here when you call us WOMEN, girls."

We both laughed, but as women we need to know that perception is still out there. That women who have to work and want to work, have to work within an environment where we are outsiders to the club.

We still rise above it.

I'm teaching my girls to love who they are. To know that they have a special place in this world, and to stand up for the respect we give, that we should get in return.

HAPPY WOMEN's DAY!

Working HomeSchooling Parent's Busy Day

The Weekly Wrap Up From Working Parent's Perspective

Inspired by Practical By Default Blog

After reading a blog post by Jen at Practical By Default, I was inspired to give a peek at a typical day from a Working and Homeschool parents point of view.

Usually, I give the viewpoint of Speed Racer (my 13 yr old) and Tiger Lilly (my 15 yr old) but today, I interviewed my husband who co-teaches with me and we both work outside the home.

WORK SCHEDULES VARY

My husband and I have varying work schedules. We both have pretty flexible schedules that allow us to overlap our coverage of childcare.

My husband is now working in the evenings since he started a new 'temporary' job. I tend to work early in the mornings and some evenings during the month.

CURRICULUM IS MOSTLY HANDS OFF

Our kids now have curriculum that doesn't require as much hands on interaction between my husband and I. They don't really want our help in most topics, and usually insist on trying it themselves first. It wasn't always this way. I'd say at around 12 yrs old Speed Racer became very independent and around 13 yrs old is when Tiger Lilly did so.

OUR DAY AS WORKING HOMESCHOOL PARENTS

4:45am > MOM wakes up to get ready for work
I shower, do make up, take my pre-prepped meal for the day and put it in my bag.

Meet my 19 yr old, Rose, in the kitchen for my morning water and while she is eating breakfast, I put on my shoes.

5:25am > Mom drops Rose off at the bus stop, then heads to work.

6:00am > Mom gets to work, logs into her various systems that she supports, check status of open issues, attend various meetings, fix system and application problems, create technical documents

08:30am > Dad gets up. Wakes up Speed Racer (who is always sleeping late) eats breakfast with Tiger Lilly (who wakes up at 9am).

09:00am > He gets Speed Racer to eat breakfast while setting up the computer for Speed Racer's lesson.

09:30am > He gets Speed Racer started on lessons and tells him what has to be done by the time MOM gets home.

10:00am > Sometimes DAD leaves for work at this time. If he is home, he pretty much works on the computer at the dining room table with the kids.

11:15am > Take a morning walk

11:30am > Return from morning walk, back to work.

12:00pm> MOM checks the kid's online work status on Acellus, CTCMath, Study.com, Membean, Udemy, YouthDigital, IXL, and UMUC.edu (Yep, I check all of them, it takes me about 10 min)

12:15pm> MOM calls the kids or DAD (if he is working nights instead of days) to check progress, answer any questions or redirect.

2:30pm >MOM leaves work and goes home

3:00pm > MOM sits at dining room table and reviews progress, answers questions or redirect.

3:30pm > MOM starts dinner, either meal prepped meal that goes on the oven or quick fix on the stove

4:00pm > MOM works with Speed Racer on SAXON MATH

5:00pm > MOM stops kids work and tell them to get ready to go

5:30pm > MOM gets kids in the car, take them to Martial Arts, Lacrosse OR Japanese (Mon-Fri)

6:00pm > If DAD pick up, then MOM goes home to do SIDE BUSINESS work. If MOM stays, usually I bring my laptop and work while they are at practice in my car.

7:30pm > Dinner

8:30pm > DAD (if he doesn't work nights) or 'Save til the weekend' Speed Racer on WRITING or CLEP PREP. MOM preps for the next day


9:30pm > Family prayer time