Homeschooling Isn't Always the Best Option

I am asked this question by many of my working peers, family and friends. This is, of course, after they stare at me in disbelief when they find that both my husband and I work outside the home, homeschooled 3 of our 4 kids and our kids are excelling beyond the typical path they would have if gone the traditional route.

Well, being a working parent of four kids, I have done most all forms of schooling for my kids. Of all of them, only one really needed the full benefits of homeschool. However, two of my other children grew in ways as homeschoolers that the system of learning in a traditional schooling method wouldn't have allowed.

PRIVATE SCHOOLS

Why I chose to send my kids to private school

I was impressed with the curriculum in the private schools I visited when my oldest son was 4 years old. The kids in the school were reading and doing basic math. It blew my mind. Also, I went to Catholic School while growing up in the inner city and if it wasn't for the education provided there, I don't think I would have succeeded to the point I had in my schooling and career.

My older kids went to private school up til 3rd and 1st grade. It was hit or miss, very structured, overly disciplined and rather stressful for my kids and myself. However, both of them left being quite ahead of the curriculum at the public school in our area. The Gifted and Talented programs at the public schools though gave those private schools some competition. So I aimed for those programs for my kids.

TRADITIONAL PUBLIC SCHOOL

Why I chose to send my kids to Public School

This is a mixed bag. We lived in one county where the schools were mediocre and decided to move to another county where the schools were 'Blue Ribbon' schools. In doing so, my kids got tons of free programs, accelerated learning and a great education. However, they weren't in a very racially diverse environment and this didn't fair well for my boys.

This is where my oldest and youngest boys were bullied by teachers and students due to their overactive energy and curiosity. It got to the point where my oldest son just showed up to class, did minimum work, yet earned Bs and Cs until he was able to graduate. My oldest girl was in the Gifted and Talented program and really enjoyed it ~ until I let her take a college class the summer of her 10th grade year. After that, she wanted to just take college classes and felt High School was a waste of her time. She wasn't satisfied with her courses and was a bit of an intellectual and found more happiness and recognition when she was homeschooling that catapulted her to experiences beyond my expectations.

The benefits though, were that my son was able to get his EMT certification for free and was offered a scholarship to finish the program at the partnered community college. My daughter was able to participate in AP courses, take classes to earn her computer certifications (but she started homeschooling before she finished).

HOMESCHOOLING

4th grade through High School/College

The benefits of homeschooling is the freedom to customize education based on your kid's needs, growth, passions and learning style. There really isn't any drawbacks to it as long as you have the resources and creativity to meet your kid's needs.

The a few problems I and my kids admit is the perception of homeschooling and the thought that parents have to be home hovering over their children in order for their kids to learn. The other issue is that it's really difficult to get a clear statistic on how homeschoolers as a whole meet their kid's schooling needs because EVERY HOMESCHOOL IS DIFFERENT.

DON'T MISS THE BIG PICTURE

The best takeaway from this is that parents have CHOICES FOR THE WAY WE EDUCATE our kids.

Family Debate On Home Schooling

My Oldest Son Vows Not To Homeschool His kids

Yes, it's true. We have an older son that went the traditional school route. He had some major challenges with getting in trouble for minor things. Had some horrible teachers that even put their hands on him in aggressive and disciplinary fashion. He had coaches that didn't give him a chance at playing because he wasn't in the 'favorite' group. Also, he got hazed and witnessed sports hazing.

Yet, he said it was a 'rite of passage' that he learned a lot through those challenges and came out unscathed.

In our case, we do realize that there are some things that we are giving up on as experiences for our kid, but those things are recoverable and worth the risk.

Our Personal BENEFITS In Homeschooling Our Youngest Kids

1) Their EDUCATIONAL GROWTH has amazed us!

2) The ABILITY TO CREATE A CURRICULUM TO MIRROR THEIR DREAMS or interest.

3) Being able to SAVE MONEY ON COLLEGE and allow them to get DEGREES EARLY.

4) To be able to have TIME TO EXPLORE PASSIONS and sports or artful interest.

5) To always have POSITIVE VOICES CONSISTENTLY which makes them believe they can and will accomplish anything.

6) To expose them to FRIENDS that are POSITIVE INFLUENCES and WEED out of the NEGATIVE.

7) FLEXIBILITY of our SCHEDULES. This was more challenging when they were younger and we had to hire a nanny. But now that they are older this is a great benefit.

The things we SACRIFICE BY NOT GOING TRADITIONAL

1) Giving kids MORE OPTIONS for friendships. Yep, the 'social' aspect of school. Although, it's not always positive, it is much more than I can offer in homeschool.

2) There are opportunities in SPORTs that are only offered to traditional schooled students.

3) There are TECH training and STEM programs only offered by traditional schools. Like my oldest son did the EMT training through his high school for free.

4) EXTERNAL positive and negative influences. And exposure to other cultures and ways of thinking.

5) LEARNING HOW TO ACT IN TYPICAL SOCIAL ENVIRONMENTS that are in the 'school' setting or with other kids that have been exposed to that setting.

6) Not HAVING FREE CHILDCARE or a place where the kids can go during the day outside of the home where I don't have to see or assess their behaviors.

ARE THE SACRIFICES or DIFFERENCES WORTH HOMESCHOOLING?

For us...YES!

For us, definitely. Sure my 13 yr old Speed Racer is a over talkative because he is an extrovert that loves outward attention.  It wears us out with his over talking and repeating of known facts just as a way to get personal interaction. However, that's just the way he is wired and has caused him to get in trouble in traditional schools big time because of it.

In addition, it allows us to feed Speed Racer's new passion of flying planes. He wants to be a pilot and if he gets his BS college degree out of the way, he can get the Airforce to pay for his Master's degree and he will join the Airforce at a higher rank as well as be able to fly.We have the time to condense high school to get him set for his Master's by the time he is 19 yrs old! That can't be done in public or private school environments.

My Tiger Lilly is able to focus her time on building her game developer's portfolio while finishing up her college classes as a homeschooled high school student. She can work an internship with several companies or take a gap year to explore building her own games. Also, she can expound in her artful pursuits because she has the time to focus on those passions.

Our oldest homeschooled student Rose was able to graduate from college with both AA and BS degrees and play college sports by the time she was 19yrs old. She even studied abroad for a summer.

My NON-HOMESCHOOLER still graduated from high school early, started Community College courses and played Lacrosse in college. He is opposed to homeschooling since from his prospective there is a social adaptability he sees as a missing link. The benefits to him in Traditional school was the ability to play sports, compete at national levels and get his EMT for free with an automatic 2 yr scholarship available in our county.

EVERYONE SHOULD DO IT? 

My personal answer is: NO

Homeschooling isn't for everyone. Just is a CHOICE. We have many choices in educating our kids. And that is the best tool off all. EXERCISE THE CHOICE THAT FITS YOUR CHILD and HOME.

How Private Schools Groomed Me

PRIVATE SCHOOL BENEFITS

That I use in HOMESCHOOL

Even though I was the product of a teenage mom's single parent home, my mother scraped together enough money to send my brother and I to private school.

MY LOVE AND HATE WITH PRIVATE SCHOOL

I started private school when I was in Kindergarden. It was a small Catholic school across the street from my house.

I was an 'average' student that had a tendency to be talkative, social, and somewhat of a day dreamer.

In those days private school meant you worked harder, had discipline and you learned about God.

I loved my private school up through 8th grade. A lot of my cousins attended the school with me and it really felt like an extension of family. The nun's house was walking distance from the school.

I also believe that the Nuns were the only Caucasian people in my entire neighborhood, lol!

I LOVED being with other kids that were all being 'groomed' to do great things. To work harder than they thought possible, and to be kept in line from bullying or misbehaving by a tightly managed school environment - or - they got the 'boot' and were kicked out of the school.

I HATED that all the things above didn't work for my sons. Neither of my boys thrived in a PRIVATE SCHOOL environment.

WHAT I TOOK FROM MY TIME AT PRIVATE SCHOOL

and USED IN MY HOMESCHOOL

The rigor! Going to private school and being pushed beyond my boundaries with a lot of challenging work, and homework - MADE COLLEGE A BREEZE!

Even though by today's standards, I would have been pinned with possible attention and hyper problems, the fact that in Private School My Peers Worked Hard, it made me want to work hard.

Also, having so much work, I tended to be FORCED to FOCUS.

So, I started slowly grooming my kids in that manner.

Things I replicated from my private school experience:

1) We started homeschooling slowly with focus on remediation of skills
2) Each week I added more subjects, 'but noted to my kids to tell me if it was TOO MUCH'
3) Took away too much idle time. My youngest would destroy things, not on purpose, but because he was 'bored' he'd start to try to 'find' things to do.
4) I asked my kids what their interest was and filled their time with interest focused curriculums that they love.
5) Create an environment of learning and discovery.
6) Challenge them to 'THINK BIGGER' and research, plan, and create a PATH to their BIGGER
7) Practice the 'SKILL' of testing

PEER GROUPS are another strong area that homeschooling allows me to filter. They have friends that LIKE the same things they LIKE. But I also PUSH them to try things they never imagined. And you know what - 7 times out of 10, they end up loving the experience.

BENEFITS I HAVE WITNESSED

My kids adjusted EXTREMELY well to college material. They actually think that COLLEGE IS EASIER because they had a heavier course load and more deliverables during either HOMESCHOOL or their time at PRIVATE SCHOOL.

TIME MANAGEMENT and organization is a skill you learn when you have a LOT to accomplish. and my kids had many classes and projects to manage.

COMMUNICATION skills in writing and oral communication is much more advanced for their age because I make it easy for them to talk about their challenges with a subject, their schedule, or even challenge a grade I've given them. These are skills they needed when being a 'young' college student.

WRITING and COMPUTATION skills benefited since their curriculum always relied heavily on writing and computation.

THINKING OUTSIDE OF THE BOX is something I instituted in my homeschool that WAS NOT in PRIVATE school. However, me being in a 'box' made me REALLY creative about how to get out and around the box, lol!  So, I always made my kids approach things in a scientific method approach to a plan A, plan B and plan C.

Don't Judge-Homeschooling is Great-But Traditional School is Needed

Sometimes I overhear mom's on the homeschooling front really rip a new hole in Public or Traditional School systems.

I get it, there are a lot of problems with the system ... BUT...

STEP OUTSIDE YOUR COMFORT ZONE

There are many, many kids in the US that would never be able to be educated at home. Due to parental issues, parents that have to work but still can't make a decent living, single parents or disabled parents or even parents that aren't present.


THE NEED FOR PUBLIC or TRADITIONAL EDUCATION

The need is providing education for everyone. Yes, we don't like to be 'made' to send our kids to school, but some parents are negligent. This mode of operation was made into law for a rather good reason. The problem though is the execution is based on a system of people that have to make it work for EVERYONE - and that's just not a realistic goal.

My Mother In Law is an educator and I've seen her become so angry at her staff when they give up on kids. But the truth is, they graduate from college ill prepared to deal with kids that come from various homes with different levels of parental support.

SOME KIDS SURVIVE, SOME THRIVE, OTHERS ARE FAILED

With having 4 kids I have to say I see traditional school as an 'Option' for my kids. Truth be told, it was a good fit for my oldest son and my oldest daughter did just fine there.

However, my younger two kids suffered in this system. I moved them from Public school to Private school and still saw the light of learning seep out of their eyes, replaced by the depression of being bullied by both teachers and other students.

Maybe school has changed? Maybe these 2 kids are just different. I think it's a bit of both.

Finally, while homeschooling them makes them extremely happy (neither kid wants to go back to Traditional school - they remind me every so often). I believe I love having the FREEDOM to decide how I want to educate my kid.

WE MOVED TO BE IN A BETTER SCHOOL DISTRICT

The thing is, if you want to go the Traditional school route, there's lots of ways to get in the better selection of schools. Let's admit it. Some schools have MAJOR resources that homeschooling just can't give that easily.

So there were many people that moved to, rented in, and fought their way into the better schools or school districts.

In my current school area our kids have to 'compete' to get into the limited programs available.

IN YOUR SPARE TIME 

Take a look at A MOVIE that shook me,

Waiting for 'Superman'