Wednesday, October 16, 2013


Many, many, many times I considered the 'Socialization' aspect of homeschooling my kids. I have to be honest, I wasn't on the homeschool bandwagon for very long. Before, I was one of those parents who thought homeschooling was unrealistically keeping kids in a bubble.

Now my opinion has changed, but having kids in both public, private and now homeschooling them has taught me that YES, there are SOCIALIZATION concerns for the homeschooled child. But now, to be honest, 'I don't care'. Because the socialization my kids got in public school and private school introduced them and pressured them into things they weren't necessarily ready to handle.


In a traditional school setting whether it's public or private there are clear and concise 'Social Rules' for students engaging with other peers there own age.

Social Realities of Traditional schools that homeschoolers don't get

- Social Cues like 'what not to say', 'how not to say it', 'what is the cool term of the week' and how to 'talk like the teens' in that specific school or group.

- Appearance Cues like being able to tell what a kid's 'school social class is' by the way that kid dresses, carries themselves, or wears.

- Class, Pecking Order Cues like the jocks, the nerds, the grudge groups and more. Kids have ways of classifying each other and ranking status in the school just by how you talk, who you hang out with, how you carry yourselves and more


Mix your homeschooled kids activities with kids who aren't homeschooled. Kids don't mind sharing the ins and outs of their peer group to newbies. Therefore, confining our kid's 'socialization' activities with other homeschooled kids keeps them in a small pond without giving them the resources to find out what's in the beyond.

- Join local Recreational sports leagues, activities for teens, teams and more.
- Have your kid hang out with a friend or cousin who isn't homeschooled
- Camps, sleepaway that isn't restricted to your kid's group of typical peers or friends



At the end of the day, we all turn out the same. Why? We grow up. College is much different that high school. And your kid will learn.

If they don't learn, who's to say they ever would've fit into to what the 'cool' group was in school. I never did, my younger kids never did. Now my oldest son was a 'Jock' on the top of the peeking order in high school - but guess what, none of that mattered when he went to college. He and many other kids have to find themselves again.



  1. This is great! Thank you for sharing!

  2. For us the biggest socialisation issue has been that the lack of daily, continuous company of peers has meant that though the children make friends (at clubs and so forth) they rarely make the depth of friendship I would have had at my school.
    I enjoyed reading this. I think sometimes as homeschoolers we feel the need to defend our stance that we miss true and honest discussions about these types of issues.

  3. Thank you for this post. You make some good points. I don't think you intended this but it actually just gives me one more reason to continue homeschooling.:) I think that homeschooling kids do get some socialization but it is definitely different and more of a controlled environment. Because they haven't been tainted by the subcultures of traditional school with the stereotypes of geeks, jocks, goths, etc. they can enter the world with much less of a bias then those who spent their lives comparing themselves to others. I don't think this is a bad thing.

    Like you said, I don't care too much about "socialization." Much of the social cues, appearance standards, and pecking orders are unwanted behaviors. These kids are so focused on looking cool, fitting in, and making friends that they put little focus on academics.

    Personally I think that is one of the reasons traditional school is failing. It's turned into social hour verses educational time. Because of the lack of school socialization our kids have, they will definitely come out ahead of the game and be much more mature then others. I think that is invaluable.

    Yes we do have problems with what is right to say and when…but that is because of something else. We take every opportunity to correct and encourage proper etiquette. We are an active family too so I don't really see the socialization thing as an issue for us. We hang out with many different groups and people. We do sleep overs, hang outs, sports, play with the kids next door, etc.

  4. One of the reasons I removed my kids was because of the negative side of the 'socialization' aspect of the schools they attended. Not all schools are bad, and there are kids that thrive in those environments, but for my younger two kids it wasn't healthy.

  5. Nita, this is a great post. Thanks for sharing your perspective on this hot topic!