Homeschooling Isn't Always the Best Option

I am asked this question by many of my working peers, family and friends. This is, of course, after they stare at me in disbelief when they find that both my husband and I work outside the home, homeschooled 3 of our 4 kids and our kids are excelling beyond the typical path they would have if gone the traditional route.

Well, being a working parent of four kids, I have done most all forms of schooling for my kids. Of all of them, only one really needed the full benefits of homeschool. However, two of my other children grew in ways as homeschoolers that the system of learning in a traditional schooling method wouldn't have allowed.

PRIVATE SCHOOLS

Why I chose to send my kids to private school

I was impressed with the curriculum in the private schools I visited when my oldest son was 4 years old. The kids in the school were reading and doing basic math. It blew my mind. Also, I went to Catholic School while growing up in the inner city and if it wasn't for the education provided there, I don't think I would have succeeded to the point I had in my schooling and career.

My older kids went to private school up til 3rd and 1st grade. It was hit or miss, very structured, overly disciplined and rather stressful for my kids and myself. However, both of them left being quite ahead of the curriculum at the public school in our area. The Gifted and Talented programs at the public schools though gave those private schools some competition. So I aimed for those programs for my kids.

TRADITIONAL PUBLIC SCHOOL

Why I chose to send my kids to Public School

This is a mixed bag. We lived in one county where the schools were mediocre and decided to move to another county where the schools were 'Blue Ribbon' schools. In doing so, my kids got tons of free programs, accelerated learning and a great education. However, they weren't in a very racially diverse environment and this didn't fair well for my boys.

This is where my oldest and youngest boys were bullied by teachers and students due to their overactive energy and curiosity. It got to the point where my oldest son just showed up to class, did minimum work, yet earned Bs and Cs until he was able to graduate. My oldest girl was in the Gifted and Talented program and really enjoyed it ~ until I let her take a college class the summer of her 10th grade year. After that, she wanted to just take college classes and felt High School was a waste of her time. She wasn't satisfied with her courses and was a bit of an intellectual and found more happiness and recognition when she was homeschooling that catapulted her to experiences beyond my expectations.

The benefits though, were that my son was able to get his EMT certification for free and was offered a scholarship to finish the program at the partnered community college. My daughter was able to participate in AP courses, take classes to earn her computer certifications (but she started homeschooling before she finished).

HOMESCHOOLING

4th grade through High School/College

The benefits of homeschooling is the freedom to customize education based on your kid's needs, growth, passions and learning style. There really isn't any drawbacks to it as long as you have the resources and creativity to meet your kid's needs.

The a few problems I and my kids admit is the perception of homeschooling and the thought that parents have to be home hovering over their children in order for their kids to learn. The other issue is that it's really difficult to get a clear statistic on how homeschoolers as a whole meet their kid's schooling needs because EVERY HOMESCHOOL IS DIFFERENT.

DON'T MISS THE BIG PICTURE

The best takeaway from this is that parents have CHOICES FOR THE WAY WE EDUCATE our kids.

Why Did I Start Homeschooling?

How Did a Working Mom who Loved Traditional School Consider

Homeschooling

The Utterance From a 2nd Grader:

My youngest son was having a terrible time at school. Between my husband and I, we probably spent 1/3 of the school year showing up to address my youngest son's problems at school.

He complained of the work being 'boring'. The teachers being 'mean' and not having many friends. And the friends he had, always got in trouble too.

Speed Racer told me, "Mom, I don't think school is for me. You are a good teacher. You could homeschool me."

No way was that going to happen. I didn't know a thing about homeschooling. Sure, I'd taught Speed Racer and my other kids to read, write, and do math (all at home) even though they were in traditional school settings. But I hadn't considered teaching them, and I certainly couldn't afford being home.

Life In Motion To Change Our Direction:

Several things happened to spurn my consideration for homeschooling. It's like my youngest son's plea was tucked in my heart and my eyes started to open.

After Speed Racer had been the victim of 'Teacher' abuse, where his teacher shook him and twisted his wrist. Also, bullying and ostracizing by the other kids due to him being labeled a 'trouble-maker'. We decided to work on moving him to another school. Private school. However, both my husband and I decided that if this option didn't work, we may have to re-organize our lives to make homeschooling happen.

So mid-year of Speed Racer's 3rd grade, we moved him to a Christian School we felt would be a great fit for him. We also moved our then 6th grader, Tiger Lilly, who although, never got in trouble in school, had started become 'invisible' and more of an introvert than before. Not to mention, her grades had started to slip.

Rose, our then 10th, grader was excelling at her public high school from which her older brother had recently graduated. Rose was in the Gifted and Talented program at her school, had plenty of friends, and was some what unhappy with the sports program at her school that always cut her from the Lacrosse team.

Another 'Aha' Moment:

Speed Racer liked his new Private school - however, Tiger Lilly hated it. In addition, there were some things that GREATLY disturbed us about the school.

It was super rigid, had very little recess time, the teachers were stern to the point of being plain mean. And my poor Speed Racer, was starting to feel as though he 'could never do anything right.'

You see, Speed Racer, was a 'speak your mind' kind of kid. Also, he had lots of energy. In addition to that, he was rather intelligent and didn't like to waste time on things he already knew.

I showed up at his 'afterschool' program to find that he and the other kids were stuck in their desk, in a quiet room, doing homework. This to me was insane considering the kids had been in their seats all day from 8am-3pm already with only a 30 min break for lunch and 15 min of that was for recess.

My son would have 'accidents' because he'd be forced to hold off going to the bathroom until the entire class could go.

And I was PAYING for this mistreatment! Ugh.

Meanwhile, Tiger Lilly, was hating school. She didn't make friends to easily because she didnt' have time. Her class only got 20 min lunch and 5 min outside. She told me she felt like she was in jail.

Decision Made By The Family Sweetheart:

All of this didn't go unnoticed by Rose. Who I believe knew on some level the step of homeschooling was a scary thought for her parents.

Therefore, she announced in 10th grade, January, after we've moved to another county in our state, that she didn't want to transfer schools. She wanted to be homeschooled!

With a lot of research behind me, landing an Umbrella Group that was awesome in helping me, I felt confident taking on this journey with my older daughter.

We enrolled her in Community College courses, and I built my confidence in homeschooling through this awesome child.

Never Looking Back:

We started officially homeschooling our younger two kids, in the summer after Rose started homeschooling.

Speed Racer stood up during Rose's homeschool graduation and THANKED HER, for making his dream of being homeschooled come true.

Tiger Lilly also thanked her sister because now she loves school and learning again.

Razor Ray, my oldest also, thanked Rose as she had become his best friend since they now attended the same Community College and both played sports.

Oh, and Rose, who always got cut from her high school team? Landed a Lacrosse scholarship at her Community College and ended up participating in a workshop where she taught her old high school team tips about playing at the College Level of Lacrosse.

Blessings Never Come In The Way We Expect:

Had anyone expressed to my Hubba and I that we would both be homeschooling parents. That we'd work through it all. That our kids would give us the courage to do things we never anticipated - we would have been skeptical.

But blessings never come in the way we expect - especially when we are stubborn about believing in the impossible.

Sibling Rivalry and Quarrel Mediation

How to get kids to get along

Sibling Rivalry is a big issue - especially for homeschooling kids that spend A LOT of time together. I've fought this in several ways:

(1) Have Rules Posted (like: Say it nice. Give Space. Respect Each Other. Apologize.)
(2) If they both bicker, they both pay the price (We have warnings and chores. If they break the Posted Rules - they have to do a chore, spend time facing each other until they laugh and hug)
(3) Don't allow hitting or physical agression (have a stiff punishment for this - like removal of game system
(4) When they break the rules - punish them both. (in some cases this doesn't work but most times it makes them draw closer).

What another crazy week

Another Wonky Week! This has got to stop! Lol! I can't seem to nail down a set schedule to save my life. I think we must have the winter willies.

I had some appointments on Monday, so the kids pretty much did their work independently.

Black History Month Kick-off! We are doing our African American History by watching movies this month.

SELMA was wonderful! The kids loved it and stayed glued to the movie for the duration. It had a lot of great discussion points for us.

A chronicle of Martin Luther King's campaign to secure equal voting rights via an epic march from Selma to Montgomery, Alabama in 1965.

Snow Boarding Planned for the weekend! My kids love to snowboard, snowtube and tons of other cold weather stuff. I hate it, but am squeezing in another snowday adventure with all the kids (including my college ones Razor Ray and Rose)

Summer Camp Planning and the ending of our Year Around School. Speed Racer and Tiger Lilly requested a fun summer. You know the kind they had before homeschooling, lol! Well I decided to book them a ton of summer camps. Tiger Lilly will be going to Landry Game Design Camp and will attend Camp Wabanna, River Valley Ranch and Highpoint sleepaway camps with her brother Speed Racer. In addition, in between sleep away camp they will go to a fun day camp that is action packed with trips to amusement parks, museums and tons of fun from June 14th til Aug 8th. It's what I did with them while they were in traditional school. Now it's time to bring it back.

Unexpected drama. My college kids got their car towed and had a dispute with the college apartment complex because of it. Hubba went to check it out, pay for the car to get out of tow. The same day, late that evening, Rose went to a class she is taking at another college, left her car lights on, and killed her battery. She called her dad who walked her through getting a guard to help her at the school (it was 10pm at night and she was scared).

This Week's Scoop
Back to a 5 day schedule

Speed Racer, 6th grader

He worked pretty well independently this week. This month though we'll be finishing his Abeka curriculum O_o so I will have to come up with an easy, independent and fun curriculum for him this Spring. (stay tuned)

He didn't work on his MOD Design (Java beginner curriculum) because he had some technical issues and I didn't have time to walk him through the directions sent from Youth Digital to fix his programming code. Clever Dragons - he did this a few times this week but he doesn't like their math so he's sticking with the Spanish and Literature. WordSmart (vocabulary software program) he actually likes doing independently.

He is making it successfully and independently through Time4Writing [Paragraphs] now and making a high 'B'.

The evenings (we've been starting late this week - around 4pm) I worked with him with Saxon Math, Spelling You See, Abeka Academy [Bible, Language, Reading, Penmanship, Science & History]. We did a few days of copywork for Anatomy, Fraction Practice Review Sheets and he practiced Piano with Simply Music and I had him write down the notes for each key he played in the song for the week.

He did two days (2 hours) of dance and acrobatics practice as well as 2 days of martial arts.

Tiger Lilly, blended 9th grader

Tiger Lilly finally confirmed her 'B' in her college English 121 she took this winter.

Some of her classes ended this week. This was the last week of her Currclick, Money Doesn't Grow on Trees class that ended her Economics course study this year. She finished her Chemistry with Abeka but is now doing it with Education-Portal (yeah, she wanted to since she will be taking Chemistry next year in college).

She basically works on these classes four days a week. Her online college courses are in their 2nd week and she's getting in a rythm (Sociology, Interpersonal Communication and Art Appreciation) although we both agreed she'd need to start on her reading for each class on Sunday's since its so much reading in a week. 

Two days this week she worked on Web Design with Currclick (she just got her book for it and has some projects to make up over the weekend), Python class (she's finishing up her program and it looks good! Her sister reviewed it with her on Thursday), Psychology with Currclick was great this week (she doesn't get much homework from this class - just reading). Blender Animation with Youth Digital.

One day this week she has Digipen-Animation with 3D Maya (started last Saturday and she LOVES it! There were 7 other students loggin in for all over the world).

Her daily Pre-Calc with Abeka is doing well and she's been making high grades on her test and quizzes. US History to 1877 Review with Instantcert she is doing well on memorizing the facts off the flashcards since she plans to take this CLEP in May. She did a Diagnostic Test with CLEP Professor Algebra and did better than we expected as she works through a lesson a day.

She does two days of martial arts and 1 day (an hour) of Hip Hop dance.

WORKING PARENT's LOG

Meals. I'm on a roll again! I had a hot dinner on the table every night (even though I worked 2 long days). Thank you crockpot.

Cleaning. Have to find time to paint, but don't know when. Still putting away clothes. The floors have to be mopped, walls washed down and carpets cleaned - but that will not get done this weekend.

Work & Life Balance. Not working this week. I took off Monday for some appointments and had to work 2 - 12 hour days to make up that time. Let's just say - exhausted - this week. Saturday here I come (I sleep in on Saturday's).

Lesson Planning. So much easier now that I don't have to put as much Abeka lessons and homeworks in for Tiger Lilly. I finished next week's.

Rest. Got 5 to 6 hours sleep this week. Also, I didn't get my power naps in because I worked long days. Grrrrrr.

Marriage Check Up. Hoping to get one this Saturday. This week we were ships passing and tagging each other to do homeschool. I did text him to tell him he's great and that I love him.

Don't Judge-Homeschooling is Great-But Traditional School is Needed

Sometimes I overhear mom's on the homeschooling front really rip a new hole in Public or Traditional School systems.

I get it, there are a lot of problems with the system ... BUT...

STEP OUTSIDE YOUR COMFORT ZONE

There are many, many kids in the US that would never be able to be educated at home. Due to parental issues, parents that have to work but still can't make a decent living, single parents or disabled parents or even parents that aren't present.


THE NEED FOR PUBLIC or TRADITIONAL EDUCATION

The need is providing education for everyone. Yes, we don't like to be 'made' to send our kids to school, but some parents are negligent. This mode of operation was made into law for a rather good reason. The problem though is the execution is based on a system of people that have to make it work for EVERYONE - and that's just not a realistic goal.

My Mother In Law is an educator and I've seen her become so angry at her staff when they give up on kids. But the truth is, they graduate from college ill prepared to deal with kids that come from various homes with different levels of parental support.

SOME KIDS SURVIVE, SOME THRIVE, OTHERS ARE FAILED

With having 4 kids I have to say I see traditional school as an 'Option' for my kids. Truth be told, it was a good fit for my oldest son and my oldest daughter did just fine there.

However, my younger two kids suffered in this system. I moved them from Public school to Private school and still saw the light of learning seep out of their eyes, replaced by the depression of being bullied by both teachers and other students.

Maybe school has changed? Maybe these 2 kids are just different. I think it's a bit of both.

Finally, while homeschooling them makes them extremely happy (neither kid wants to go back to Traditional school - they remind me every so often). I believe I love having the FREEDOM to decide how I want to educate my kid.

WE MOVED TO BE IN A BETTER SCHOOL DISTRICT

The thing is, if you want to go the Traditional school route, there's lots of ways to get in the better selection of schools. Let's admit it. Some schools have MAJOR resources that homeschooling just can't give that easily.

So there were many people that moved to, rented in, and fought their way into the better schools or school districts.

In my current school area our kids have to 'compete' to get into the limited programs available.

IN YOUR SPARE TIME 

Take a look at A MOVIE that shook me,

Waiting for 'Superman'